interesting year

This year has been a slog, spiritually. Battles with the nafs [lower self], sometimes one's higher self wins and sometimes the lower: and all victories are clearly Divine inspiration or help from the positive "forces beyond." One has to take more "credit" for the nafs victories, although the negative forces beyond have their say, they are weaker than the positive forces [and by this I'm referring to Barzakh: the angels and the saints].

Event wise nothing of extra significance close around me: yes there are deaths and births but not in my immediate family, alhamdolillah.

Also completed one year of Kung Fu, alhamdolillah and although I'm learning an old man's style, Wing Chun, it's been physically challenging and a lot of fun and benefit, I would seriously recommend to almost anyone young or old esp. introverts like myself. Martial arts brings a discipline and focus, as does Salat, so the 2 together are useful for combating the aforementioned enemies i.e. one's Nafs and the darker "forces beyond."

Of spiritual "progress" I cannot say, it's just a constant struggle. In any case it's God's Grace at the end of the day.

When I was younger, even 2 years ago, I had grand illusions of Reforming the Faith, yes laugh at that, now I do too, for surely it's a common human failing today.

A couple of years ago that changed mercifully, alhamdolillah, and I realized that the real goal is to Reform oneself, Religion is not in any need of reform, at least not the religion that the Noble Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, brought [faithfully preserved by sufi saints such as Rumi, Hujweri, Attar, Ajmeri, Shadhilli, Suharwardi, Jilani etc].

This year I've realized that even self-reform is an unrealistic goal, at my stage and age, I can best hope for damage control, that those around me are kept safe from my worst impulses and failings.

And the Creator alone gives success.